Sunday, May 31, 2009 :: Your Daily Jokes for - Sunday, May 31st, 2009

Joke Master! Good Morning!
You are being blessed with the gift of laughter! Here are your 5 random jokes from for today!:

(Category: One Liners)
Q: Why did the turkey cross the road?
A: To prove it wasn't a chicken.

(Category: Miscellaneous)
LIBRA Sep 23 - Oct 22

You are the artistic type and have a difficult time with reality. If you are a man you more than likely are queer. Chances are good for employment and monetary gains are excellent. Most Libra women are good prostitutes. All Libra's die of Venereal Disease.

(Category: One Liners)
In looking at a drop of water under a microscope, we find there are twice as many H's as O's.

(Category: Miscellaneous)
Things You'll Never Hear A Man Say:

  1. Here honey, you use the remote.

  2. You know, I'd like to see her again, but her breasts are just too big.

  3. Ooh, Antonio Banderas AND Brad Pitt? That's one movie I gotta see!

  4. While I'm up, can I get you anything?

  5. Honey since we don't have anything else planned, will you go to the wallpaper store with me?

  6. Why don't you go to the mall with me and help me pick out a pair of shoes?

  7. Aww, forget Monday night football, Let's watch Melrose Place.

  8. Hey let me hold your purse while you try that on.

  9. We never talk anymore

(Category: Miscellaneous)

How to Speak About Women and Be Politically Correct

1. She is not a Babe or a Chick - She is a Breasted American.

2. She is not a Screamer or Moaner - She is Vocally Appreciative.

3. She is not Easy - She is Horizontally Accessible.

4. She does not Tease or Flirt - She engages in Artificial Stimulation.

5. She is not Dumb - She is a Detour Off The Information Superhighway.

6. She has not Been Around - She is a Previously Enjoyed Companion.

7. She does not Get You Excited - She causes Temporary Blood Displacement.

8. She is not Kinky - She is a Creative Caretaker.

9. She does not have a Killer Body - She is Terminally Attactive.

10. She is not an Airhead - She is Reality Impaired.

11. She does not get Drunk or Tipsy - She gets Chemically Inconvenienced.

12. She is not Horny - She is Sexually Focused.

13. She does not have Breast Implants - She is Medically Enhanced.

14. She does not Nag You - She becomes Verbally Repetitive.

15. She is not a Slut - She is Sexually Extroverted.

16. She does not have Major League Hooters - She is Pectorally Superior.

17. She is not a Two Bit Whore - She is a Low Cost Provider.


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