Friday, May 29, 2009 :: Your Daily Jokes for - Friday, May 29th, 2009

Joke Master! Good Morning!
You are being blessed with the gift of laughter! Here are your 5 random jokes from for today!:

(Category: Miscellaneous)
Briteesh destraayed avar kantry faar 150 earss. let uss destraay deree laangvedge foryever.... Do yit yand yenjaaay.... :-) Yeast aar Waist aavar caantry iss da BAIST!!!!!!!!!!

(Category: Ethnic Jokes)
Why don't [ethnics] become pharmicists?
- Because they can't fit the prescription bottles in the type-writer.

(Category: Ethnic Jokes)
Two african american kids (a boy and a girl) go out trick or treating and stop at a lady's house for candy.

Lady: Who are you two supposed to be?

Kids: Hansel and Gretel

Lady: You can't be Hansel and Gretel, they're white.

So the kids went home and changed and went back to the lady's house.

Lady: Now who are you supposed to be?

Kids: Jack and Jill.

Lady: You can't be Jack and Jill, they're white.

Then the kids went home to change again but went back to the lady's house with nothing on this time.

Lady: What are you supposed to be this time?

Kids: Hershey bars, one with nuts and one without.

(Category: Miscellaneous)
Top Ten Signs You're Suffering From Burnout

  1. You're so tired you now answer the phone, "Hell".

  2. Your friends call to ask how you've been, and you immediately scream, "Get off my back, bitch!"

  3. Your garbage can IS your "in" box.

  4. You wake up to discover your bed is on fire, but go back to sleep because you just don't care.

  5. You have so much on your mind, you've forgotten how to pee.

  6. Visions of the upcoming weekend help you make it through Monday.

  7. You sleep more at work than at home.

  8. You leave for a party and instinctively bring your briefcase.

  9. Your Day-Timer exploded a week ago.

  10. You think about how relaxing it would be if you were in jail right now.

(Category: Miscellaneous)

1. Golf can best be defined as an endless series of tragedies obscured by the occasional miracle.

2. "I wish I could play my normal game...just once."

3. "Golf is harder than baseball. In golf, you have to play your foul balls."

4. If you find you do not mind playing golf in the rain, the snow, even during a hurricane, here's a valuable tip: your life is in trouble.

5. Golfers who try to make everything perfect before taking the shot rarely make a perfect shot.

6. The term "mulligan" is really a contraction of the phrase "maul it again."

7. A "gimme" can best be defined as an agreement between two golfers...neither of whom can putt very well.

8. An interesting thing about golf is that no matter how badly you play;it is always possible to get worse.

9. Golf's a hard game to figure. One day you'll go out and slice it and shank it, hit into all the traps and miss every green. The next day you go out and for no reason at all you really stink.

10.I play in the low 80s. If it's any hotter than that, I won't play.


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