Joke-Master.com :: Your Daily Jokes for - Monday, May 4th, 2009

Good Morning GlobalEducation100@gmail.com! You are being blessed with the gift of laughter! Here are your 5 random jokes from Joke-Master.com for today!:

	#1 (Category: Funny Quotes) "Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former." - Albert Einstein #2 (Category: Miscellaneous) A young man, who worked at a driving range, picked up a couple of dozen old balls one day and took them home with him, stuffing them into his pants pockets. On the bus on his way home, an elderly old lady sat down next to him, so he had to scrunch them up to make room for her. He noticed after a while the lady was glancing sideways toward his pockets. A bit embarrassed, he said to the lady, "It's all right ma'am, they're just golf balls." She nodded and smiled sympathetically and a few moments later said, "Tell me - is that something like tennis elbow?" #3 (Category: Miscellaneous) Tight Skirt, Bus Stop One Day, at a bus stop there was a girl who was wearing a skintight miniskirt. When the bus arrived and it was her turn to get on, she realized that her skirt was so tight she couldn't get her foot high enough to reach to step. Thinking it would give her enough slack to raise her leg, she reaches back and unzipps her skirt a little. She still could not reach the step Embarrassed, she reaches back once again to unzip it a little more. Still, she couldn't reach the step. So, with her skirt zipper halfway down, she reaches back and unzips her skirt all the way. Thinking that she could get on the step now, she lifts up her leg only to realize that she still couldn't reach the step. So, seeing how embarrased the girl was, the man standing behind her put his hands around her waist and lifted her up on to the first step of the bus. The girl turns around furiously and says, #4 (Category: Miscellaneous) Top Ten Things That Sound Dirty In Golf 10. Nuts...my shaft is bent. 9. After 18 holes I can barely walk. 8. You really whacked the hell out of that sucker. 7. Look at the size of his putter. 6. Keep your head down and spread your legs a bit more. 5. Mind if I join your threesome? 4. Stand with your back turned and drop it. 3. My hands are so sweaty I can't get a good grip 2. Nice stroke, but your follow through has a lot to be desired. And the number 1 thing that sounds dirty in golf but isn't: 1. Hold up...I need to wash my balls first. #5 (Category: Miscellaneous) Why is it estimated that only 99 percent of all people masterbate? The other 1% were either taking the poll or answering the door!

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