Joke-Master.com :: Your Daily Jokes for - Friday, May 8th, 2009

Good Morning GlobalEducation100@gmail.com! You are being blessed with the gift of laughter! Here are your 5 random jokes from Joke-Master.com for today!:

	#1 (Category: Miscellaneous) 1: I didn't expect an answering machine. 2: Nobody expects an answering machine. 1: Our chief use is to get your name. And your phone number. 2: Our two chief uses are to get your name and your phone number. 1: Oops! And your message message. 2: Our three uses are to get your name, phone number, and message. 1: And time you called. 2: Oh, great, we'll have to start over. 1: No time for that, so just wait for the beep. #2 (Category: Miscellaneous) A unit of soldiers was marching a long dusty march across the rolling prairie. It was a hot blistering day and the men, longing for water and rest, were impatient to reach the next town. A rancher rode past. "Say, friend", called out one of the men, "how far is it to the next town?" "Oh, a matter of two miles or so, I reckon," called back the rancher. Another long hour dragged by, and another rancher was encountered. "How far to the next town?" the men asked him eagerly. "Oh, a good two miles." A nearly half hour longer of marching, and then a third rancher. "Hey, how far's the next town?" "Not far," was the encouraging answer, "only about two miles." "Well," sighed the optimistic sergeant, "thank God, we're holding our own, anyhow!" #3 (Category: Miscellaneous) You're a redneck if .... Your mother doesn't remove the Marlboro from her lips before telling the State Trooper to kiss her ass. #4 (Category: Miscellaneous) Q: How many conservatives does it take to change a light bulb? A: One; after reflecting in the twilight on the merit of the previous bulb. Q: How many Labour Party members does it take to change a lightbulb? A: None. They haven't got a policy on that. Q: How many socialists does it take to change a light bulb? A: One to petition the Ministry of Light for a bulb, fifty to establish the state production quota, two hundred militia to force the factory unions to allow production of the bulb, and one to surreptitiously dial an '800' number to order an American light bulb. Q: How many libertarians does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: None, if he wants to sit in the dark, it's his business. Q: How many libertarians does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: None, because somebody might come into the room who likes to sit in the dark. Q: How many Perot supporters does it take to change a light bulb? A: None, they all just quit and go home! Q: How many Presidential family members does it take to screw in a light bulb in the White House? A: Two, Hillary for her office, Bill for the rest of the White House. Q: How many Bill Clintons does it take to change a light bulb? A: Two--one to promise he'll do it better than anyone else and one to obscure the issues. #5 (Category: Miscellaneous) A brief synopsis...

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