Thursday, May 21, 2009 :: Your Daily Jokes for - Thursday, May 21st, 2009

Joke Master! Good Morning!
You are being blessed with the gift of laughter! Here are your 5 random jokes from for today!:

(Category: Miscellaneous)

A surgeon went to check on his very famous patient after an operation. She was awake , so he examined her. "You'll be fine," he said. She asked, "How long will it be before I am able to have a normal sex life again Doctor?"

The Surgeon seemed to pause which alarmed the girl. "What's the matter Doctor? I will be alright won't I ?"

He replied, 'Yes , you'll be fine Miss Lewinski. It's just that no one has ever asked me that after having their tonsils out."

(Category: Miscellaneous)
Proof That Jesus Was Jewish:

1. He went into his father's business.

2. He lived at home until the age of 33.

3. He was sure his mother was a virgin, and his mother was sure he was God.

Proof That Jesus Was Irish:

1. He never got married.

2. He was always telling stories.

3. He loved green pastures.

Proof That Jesus Was Puerto Rican:

1. His first name was Jesus.

2. He was bilingual.

3. He was always being harassed by the authorities.

Proof That Jesus Was Italian:

1. He talked with his hands.

2. He had wine with every meal.

3. He worked in the building trades.

Proof that Jesus Was a Californian:

1. He never cut his hair.

2. He walked around barefoot.

3. He invented a new religion and finally

Proof that Jesus Was Black:

1. He called everybody brother.

2. He liked Gospel.

3. He couldn't get a fair trial.

(Category: Murphy's Law)
Murphy's Technology Laws

Always draw your curves, then plot your reading.

(Category: Miscellaneous)
Two teachers at my high school started a practical joke war that culminated in a junk mail war of huge proportions. They finally called a truce and got it cleared up and the mail stopped, EXCEPT for the military mail that one had signed the other one up for. He wrote (honestly) that he had graduated from a fine college and was interested in the Marines, Air Force, etc. etc. When I left, about two years after this, he was still getting PHONE CALLS from 2-4 times a month.... they were VERY persistant even over he (loud) objections that he was 45 and not interested in a career change...

(Category: Dirty Jokes)
"Miss Jones, we can't employ you as a model," the editor from the men's magazine explained. "It's too obvious that your blonde hair isn't natural, since the hair between your legs is black."

The model picked up a paperweight and slammed it down on the editor's fingers.

"What the hell did you do that for!" he exploded. She smiled sweetly and

said, "Look at your fingers. They're turning black, right? And they've only been banged once."


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