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You are being blessed with the gift of laughter! Here are your 5 random jokes from Joke-Master.com for today!:
A conscientious scientist.
Trustees exclaim," He never bungles!"
And sent him off to distant jungles.
Camped on a tropic riverside,
One day he missed his loving bride.
She had, the guide informed him later,
Been eaten by an alligator.
Professor Twist could not but smile.
"You mean," he said, "a crocodile."
-"The Purist" by Ogden Nash
"Very well," said the gatekeeper of Heaven. "But I hope that you realize that we've got all the good players and the best coaches."
"I know, and that's all right." Satan answered unperturbed. "We've got all the umpires."
Don't you need a license to be that ugly?
Moonlight becomes you -- total darkness even more!
Someone took a photo of you once, but it didn't turn out. You could be seen too clearly.
So you finally managed to get the last laugh [word]; a long time ago.
You should do some soul-searching. Maybe you'll find one.
The overwhelming power of the sex drive was demonstrated by the fact that someone was willing to father you.
I hear you were born on April 2; a day too late!
I hope you never get a tetanus shot; maybe you'll windup with lockjaw.
I you are in your right mind, I hope you go insane!
If I told you that I have a piece of dirt in my eye, would you move?
Do you want me to accept you as you are, or do you want me to like you?
When the cashier called for a price check on a box of soap, the woman remarked indignantly, "Well, I'll be lucky to get out of here and home before Christmas!"
"Don't worry, ma'am," replied the clerk. "With a good tail wind and that brand new broom you have there, you'll be home in no time."
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