Saturday, June 20, 2009 :: Your Daily Jokes for - Saturday, June 20th, 2009

Joke Master! Good Morning!
You are being blessed with the gift of laughter! Here are your 5 random jokes from for today!:

(Category: Miscellaneous)
The husband finally wised up to the fact that his wife was less than faithful. He hired a private investigator to follow her and in less than a week, had all the information that he needed on the "other man". The husband convinced himself that his would still be a loving and trustworthy marriage had not this S.O.B. come onto the scene. Being a man of the 90's and all, he decided to handle the matter in what he judged to be sophisticated and business-like manner. He sent the following e-mail to his wife's lover: Sir, It has been brought to my attention that for some time now you have been carrying on an affair with my wife. So that we may settle this matter in an intelligent fashion, please be at my office at 3 PM on Friday next. The "other man" was highly amused by the husband's formal manner and sent off the following reply at once: Dear Sir, I have received a copy of your mass mailing this morning. You may be advised that I will attend the scheduled conference in your Office's auditorium.

(Category: Miscellaneous)
You can lead a whore to Vassar, but you can't make her think.

(Category: Miscellaneous)
Why do men die before their wives? Because they want to.

(Category: Miscellaneous)
Bureau Termination, Law of: When a government bureau is scheduled to be phased out, the number of employees in that bureau will double within 12 months after the decision is made.

Brooke's Law: Whenever a system becomes completely defined, some fool discovers something which either abolishes the system or expands it beyond recognition.

Calkin's Law of Menu Language: The number of adjectives and verbs that are added to the description of a menu item is in inverse proportion to the quality of the dish.

Canada Bill Jones's Motto: It is morally wrong to allow suckers to keep their money.

Canada Bill Jones's Supplement: A Smith and Wesson beats four aces.

Captain Penny's Law: You can fool all of the people some of the time, and some of the people all of the time, but you Can't Fool Mom.

Carlson's Consolation: Nothing is ever a complete failure; it can always serve as a bad example.

Carson's Observation on Footwear: If the shoe fits, buy the other one, too.

Chism's Law of Completion: The amount of time required to complete a government project is precisely equal to the length of time already spent on it.

Chisolm's First Corollary to Murphy's Second Law: When things just can't possibly get any worse, they will.

(Category: Entertainment Jokes)
A lady walks into the drugstore and asks the pharmacist for some arsenic.
"Ma'am, what do you want with arsenic?" "To kill my husband."
"I can't sell you arsenic to kill a person!"
The lady lays down a photo of a man and a woman in a compromising position.
The man is her husband and the woman is the pharmacist's wife.
He takes the photo, and nods. "I didn't realize you had a prescription!"


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