Friday, June 19, 2009 :: Your Daily Jokes for - Friday, June 19th, 2009

Joke Master! Good Morning!
You are being blessed with the gift of laughter! Here are your 5 random jokes from for today!:

(Category: Dirty Jokes)
Why did Raggedy Ann get kicked out of the playhouse?

- Because she sat on Pinnochio's face and said, "Lie mutherfucker, lie!"

(Category: Miscellaneous)
Back in the '70s, days of conspicuous (ahem) consumption, Hugh Hefner was showing a friend around the Playboy Mansion. At one point, Hefner turned to his friend, and said, "Did you ever hear this joke? A woman receives flowers from her boyfriend. She turns to her friend, and says, `Oh, great. Now I'll have to spend the whole weekend with my legs in the air.' `Why?' says her friend. `Don't you have a vase?'" They laugh, and then Hefner opens a door with a flourish. Inside, women are reclining on couches, naked as jaybirds, with flowers protruding from their vaginas. Hefner and his friend have another laugh and are flirting with the girls when suddenly, from the next room, there is a bloodcurdling shriek! "What was that?" starts Hefner's friend. "Oh, probably just the umbrella stand..."

(Category: Miscellaneous)
She was young, she was beautiful, she was married - and she was with her lawyers seeking a divorce.

"What are the grounds?" said the lawyer.

"Well, after a year of marriage, I'm still a virgin," she replied.

Looking at her, the lawyer found that hard to understand. "What are the circumstances?" he asked.

"Well," she said, "I'm married to an IBM salesman. He's a good provider, works hard, works late."

This did not seem a promising start and the lawyer indicated accordingly.

"But," she continued, "every evening when he comes home he sits at the end of the bed and tells me how good it's going to be - and then he falls asleep."

(Category: Miscellaneous)
You're a redneck if .... You think God looks a lot like Hank Williams, Jr., and heaven looks a lot like
Daytona Beach, Florida.

(Category: Funny Quotes)
There is no room in today's drug culture for amateurs.

- Uncle Duke


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