Saturday, June 13, 2009 :: Your Daily Jokes for - Saturday, June 13th, 2009

Joke Master! Good Morning!
You are being blessed with the gift of laughter! Here are your 5 random jokes from for today!:

(Category: Miscellaneous)
A woman and her friend are visiting the zoo. They are standing in front of the big silver back gorillas cage, when one woman makes a gesture that the gorilla interprets as an invitation. He grabs her yanks her over the fence and takes her to his nest in the pen. There he ravishhes her and makes passionate love to her for about 2 hours till he is tranquilized, and the lady taken to hospital. Her friend visits her the next day and asks" Are you hurt?" She replies. Of Course I'm hurt, He hasn't called! He hasn't written!

(Category: Miscellaneous)
The South Takes a Cue from Oakland Everyone is familiar with the plan to teach Ebonics in such leftist enclaves as California and Massachusetts. "Ebonics," a neologism created by combining "Ebony" and "phonics," is supposed to be the language of the untermenschen, the urban underclass. Here in the South, we have a similar movement, called "Bubbonics!" Created from mixing "Bubba" and "phonics," we too have an entirely separate language from English. Like Ebonics, Bubbonics has a slightly different alphabet and different pronunciations from standard English. For example, the English language includes the letter "L" although Bubbonics does not. Likewise, vowel pronunciation in Bubbonics is different from English pronunciation. Take, for example, the following sentences in English, and their translation into Bubbonics: Can I help you? Kin ah hip ewe? Hi, I'm Don Fowler. Hah, ahm Dahn Fah-wah. The discerning English speaker quickly notices that Bubbonics has fewer vowel sounds than English, and the primary vowel sound is "ah." The letters A and E are generally replaced with the sound of a short i. For the advanced scholar, there are actually many interesting comparisons between Ebonics and Bubbonics. Indeed, there have even been suggestions that Ebonics is actually a degraded form of Bubbonics, which is itself a degraded form of English. Consider the following statement in Bubbonics and their counterparts in Ebonics: Ah axed ewe a quest-shun. I axed you a question, sukka. Ah be smaht. I be smarts now. Hooked ahn Bahbahnics wukks fuh me. Hooked on 'bonics be wukking fo me. If you're a native English speaker, and you can read the writing on the wall, then you know that your native tongue is soon to be as dead as Latin, spoken only in weird rituals or taught to kids in prep school. And if you're a native English speaker and you CAN'T read the writing on the wall, it's probably already in Bubbonics or Ebonics, and you're just that far behind. Gracefully surrender the things of your youth. Clean air. Tuna. Taiwan. The English language. And remember: Bilingual Education means teaching kids to be illiterate in two languages.

(Category: Blonde Jokes)
This man notices a blonde woman walking out of her house and opening her mailbox.

She peeks inside, then walks back in to the house. This went on and on about every 1/2 hour or so. Later that day while the man was mowing his lawn, the blonde came out of her house and checked her mailbox again.

Intrigued, he comments "You must be expecting a very important package to be checking your mail so much."

"No" responds the blonde... "I just got this new computer and it keeps telling me that I've got mail."

(Category: Miscellaneous)
A regular Friday night poker game was still going strong well after midnight when one of the players returned from the bathroom with an urgent report. "Roger, listen," he told the host, "Walter's in the kitchen making love to your wife." "OK, that's it, guys," Roger said. "This is positively the last deal."

(Category: One Liners)
He's as sharp as a beach ball.


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