Joke-Master.com :: Your Daily Jokes for - Friday, January 1st, 2010

Good Morning GlobalEducation100@gmail.com! You are being blessed with the gift of laughter! Here are your 5 random jokes from Joke-Master.com for today!:

	#1 (Category: Miscellaneous) The airplane took off with a full load of passengers. Ten minutes into the flight the loud speaker announced: Good afternoon ladies and gentlemen. You are privileged to be riding on the very first pilotless flight. Do not panic. This flight is backed by the finest technology in the world today. It has been planned by the United States Army and is sanctioned by the United States Government. Absolutely nothing can go wrong go wrong go wrong go wrong... #2 (Category: One Liners) What did the bee say t the flower? #3 (Category: Miscellaneous) New scientific theories GRAND PRIZE WINNER: When a cat is dropped, it ALWAYS lands on its feet; and when toast is dropped, it ALWAYS lands with the buttered side facing down. Therefore, I propose to strap buttered toast to the back of a cat. When dropped, the two will hover, spinning inches above the ground, probably into eternity. A "buttered-cat array" could replace pneumatic tires on cars and trucks, and "giant buttered-cat arrays" could easily allow a high-speed monorail linking New York with Chicago. #4 (Category: Miscellaneous) You're a redneck if... You check into a hotel on your wedding night and the clerk asks if you want the bridal suite, and you reply "No, I'll just hang on to her ears." #5 (Category: Miscellaneous) Little Johnny sat playing in the garden. When his mother came out to collect him, she saw that he was slowly eating a worm. She turned pale. "No, Johnny! Stop! That's horrible! You can't eat worms!" Trying to convince him further, "Now the mother worm is looking all over for her nice baby-worm." "No, she isn't," said Johnny. "Why not?" "Because I ate her first!"

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