Tuesday, July 28, 2009

Joke-Master.com :: Your Daily Jokes for - Tuesday, July 28th, 2009

Joke Master! Good Morning GlobalEducation100@gmail.com!
You are being blessed with the gift of laughter! Here are your 5 random jokes from Joke-Master.com for today!:

(Category: Miscellaneous)
There is a man who goes out drinking all the time and comes home very later every night. So one night his wife decides to teach him a lesson, so she dresses up like Satan and decides to hide in the dark and scare him when he gets home.

So the man comes home and his wife jumps out and screams in his face. He just looks at her and says, ''You don't scare me I've been married to your sister for 20 years!'''

(Category: Miscellaneous)
The room was full of pregnant ladies and their partners, and the Lamaze class was in full swing. The instructor was teaching the women how to breathe properly, along with informing the men how to give the necessary assurances at this stage of the plan. The teacher then announced, "Ladies, exercise is good for you. Walking is especially beneficial. And, gentlemen, it wouldn't hurt you to take the time to go walking with your partner!" The room really got quiet. Finally, a man in the middle of the group raised his hand. "Yes," replied the teacher. "Is it alright if she carries a golf bag while we walk?" Sent by Katie-Anne

(Category: Miscellaneous)
A new arrival, about to enter hospital, saw two white coated doctors searching through the flower beds.

"Excuse me," he said, "have you lost something?"

"No," replied one of the doctors. "We're doing a heart transplant for an income-tax inspector and want to find a suitable stone."

(Category: Girls vs. Boys)
Johnson came home unexpectedly from a business trip to find his wife in the arms of his best friend. He staggered back and said, "Max! I'm married to the lady so I HAVE to. But why you?"

(Category: Miscellaneous)
Christmas Santa
A family had twin boys whose only resemblance to each other was their looks. If one felt it was too hot, the other thought it was too cold. If one said the TV was too loud, the other claimed the volume needed to be turned up. Opposite in every way, one was an eternal optimist, the other a doom and gloom pessimist.

Just to see what would happen, on the twins' birthday their father loaded the pessimist's room with every imaginable toy and game. The optimist's room he loaded with horse manure.

That night the father passed by the pessimist's room and found him sitting amid his new gifts crying bitterly.

"Why are you crying?" the father asked.

"Because my friends will be jealous, I'll have to read all these instructions before I can do anything with this stuff, I'll constantly need batteries, and my toys will eventually get broken." answered the pessimist twin.

Passing the optimist twin's room, the father found him dancing for joy in the pile of manure. "What are you so happy about?" he asked.

To which his optimist twin replied, "There's got to be a pony in here somewhere!"


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