Friday, July 17, 2009 :: Your Daily Jokes for - Friday, July 17th, 2009

Joke Master! Good Morning!
You are being blessed with the gift of laughter! Here are your 5 random jokes from for today!:

(Category: Miscellaneous)
A company, feeling it was time for a shake-up, hires a new CEO. This new boss is determined to rid the company of all slackers.

On a tour of the facilities, the CEO notices a guy leaning on a wall. The room is full of workers and he wants to let them know he means business!

The CEO walks up to the guy and asks, "And how much money do you make a week?"

A little surprised, the young fellow looks at him and replies, "I make $300.00 a week. Why?"

The CEO then hands the guy $1,200 in cash and screams, "Here's four weeks pay, now GET OUT and don't come back!"

Feeling pretty good about his first firing, the CEO looks around the room and asks, "Does anyone want to tell me what that goof-off did here?"

With a sheepish grin, one of the other workers mutters, "Pizza delivery guy from Domino's."

(Category: Girls vs. Boys)
A chicken and an egg are lying in bed. The chicken is smoking a cigarette with a satisfied smile on its face and the egg is frowning and looking put out.

The egg mutters to no one in particular, "I guess we answered that question."

(Category: Miscellaneous)
I have a friend who is a pilot on a 747.

I said "Hi Jack."

He shot me.

(Category: Funny Definitions)
Calorie (noun)

Basic measure of the amount of rationalization offered by the average individual prior to taking a second helping of a particular food.

(Category: Riddles)
What is big and purple, is covered with green fur, has 13 arms and 34 legs, eats celery and goes "Borf borf!"?
- Nothing.


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