Saturday, July 4, 2009 :: Your Daily Jokes for - Saturday, July 4th, 2009

Joke Master! Good Morning!
You are being blessed with the gift of laughter! Here are your 5 random jokes from for today!:

(Category: Blonde Jokes)
What's the difference between an epileptic corn farmer, and a blonde with diarrhea?

One shucks between fits...

(Category: Dirty Jokes)
A man who has had a terrible accident walks into a doctors office. He has lost his penis, but the rest of the package is intact. He has met a woman who he feels is very special but his shortcoming leads him to lack confidence.

Man: "Doc, there's got to be something you can do for me?"

Doc:"Well, give me a week to do some research."

A week later the man eagerly returns.

Doc: "Well, I'm afraid none of my colleagues could help you but I've got a friend who is a taxidermist. He gave me the last 6-inches of an elephant trunk. It's your only option."

Man: "I don't know Doc. If it's my only option, let's go for it."

The man has the operation and leaves the hospital to test out his noew equipment. He takes his lady friend to a really nice restaraunt. The couple is engaged in some light conversation and the man starts to feel pretty good about the situation. They are looking at the wine list and the waiter brings them a basket of rolls. All of a sudden something comes out from under the table, grabs a roll, and dissapears back under the table. The woman pushes her chair back and starts freaking out. To calm her the man says;

"Don't be alarmed hun. It's a little trick, and I'm the only one who knows how to do it."

Woman: "That was pretty neat. Can you do it again?"

Man: "I think so but I don't know if my asshole can take another roll."

(Category: Religious Jokes)
Joe Shmoe and Sam Shlam were buddies all their lives. When they died, Joe went to heaven, but Sam went to the other place.

Heaven was a gorgeous garden with fountains and flowers, serenity, contemplation, and serious conversation. After some time, Joe wondered how Sam was faring, so he asked the recording angel if he could visit his erst-while friend. Sure, said the angel, here s a weekend pass.

Hell proved to be a real swinging place filled with pubs and betting shops and massage parlors. Sam had done very well and now owned his own disco joint. The two pals had a great time.

Next week, Joe again asked for a pass to go down to hell. But you were just there, said the angel, why do you want to go again?

Oh, said Joe, thinking fast, I left my harp in Sam Shlam s disco.

(Category: Miscellaneous)
yo mama's o fat she supplies 99% of British gas.

(Category: Miscellaneous)
You so ugly, last time you got ass was when your toiletpaper broke!


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