Friday, July 3, 2009 :: Your Daily Jokes for - Friday, July 3rd, 2009

Joke Master! Good Morning!
You are being blessed with the gift of laughter! Here are your 5 random jokes from for today!:

(Category: Miscellaneous)
It seems that The Count on Sesame Street was giving a lecture on his thoughts on Godel's Theorem and there was a great need for extra transportation services to this event. After all, people like Gordon, Bob, Maria, Mr. Hooper, and all can only take so much of the "Which is not like the other" mentality. Anyway, since the Speedy Delivery Service run by Mr.McFeeley (what a name for a character on a children's show!) was being pushed out of Mr. Roger's Neighborhood by Federal Express, he thought he would sign on as a bus driver for the Sesame Street Bus Company. Besides, he was do for another trip to the Magic Kingdom and that was getting expensive these days.

On the morning of the big event he kissed his wife goodbye and hopped onto his bus and began driving his route. At the first stop there were two rather plump twins, so he stopped. As they got on he said "Hi there! Welcome to the Sesame St. bus! I'm Mr. McFeeley, who are you?" The twins said "We're named Patty" and they then waddled to their seats. He started to drive and at the next stop he saw a rather dejected looking man and stopped to pick him up. "Hi there", said Mr. McFeeley,"why do you look so said?" The man said, " I have no friends and I'm terribly lonely." With that Mr. Mcfeeley replied,"what is your name?" The man replied, "Saul". "Well, you can be my special friend Saul", said Mr. McFeeley. The man looked much happier and skipped to his seat. Mr. McFeeley then went on his way to the next bus stop and saw two men waiting, though one looked rather familiar. He stopped and gave his greeting to the first man. Mr. McFeeley learned that his name was Lester Cheese. Mr. McFeeley then recognized the other man to be Don Rickles. Apparently he looked to be in some kind of pain. "Welcome to the Sesame Street Bus Mr. Rickles! You look like you're in a lot of pain." "That's right, I've got bunyons you hockey puck!" And with that Mr. McFeeley completed his route to the symposium.

When Mr. McFeeley returned home his wife said, "How did it go today dear?" Mr. McFeeley replied, "Just great! I had two obese Patties, a special friend Saul, Lester Cheese, and Don Rickles with Bunyons all on the Sesame Bus!" They then took their valium and went to the Magic Kingdom.

(Category: Blonde Jokes)
Why do blondes wear shoulder pads?

To keep from bruising their ears.

(Category: Miscellaneous)
Let's say there is a hundred dollar bill in the center of a room. In each of the corners there is a person. In one corner there is a Santa Claus; in another, the Easter Bunny; in another a smart Antartian and in the last a dumb Antartian. They all notice the hundred-dollar bill in the center of the room. They all make a dash for the bill... who gets to the bill first???
Answer: The dumb Antartian; the others don't exist!!

(Category: One Liners)
<-------- The information went data way --------

(Category: Miscellaneous)
Sorry Texans.... A Texas game warden came upon a coyote caught in a trap. He returned to his office and called the Oklahoma game warden and told him one of his coyotes was caught in a trap. "How do you know it's one of our coyotes?" asked the Oklahoma game warden. "Well," replied the Texas game warden, "He's already chewed off three of his legs and he's still trapped!"


Thank you for subscribing to the Email List!

If you wish to remove yourself from this list, please reply to this email with the subject line "REMOVE:"
-The Joke Master

No comments:

Post a Comment