Tuesday, July 14, 2009

Joke-Master.com :: Your Daily Jokes for - Tuesday, July 14th, 2009

Joke Master! Good Morning GlobalEducation100@gmail.com!
You are being blessed with the gift of laughter! Here are your 5 random jokes from Joke-Master.com for today!:

(Category: Religious Jokes)
A Rabbi and a Priest were sitting together on a train, and the Rabbi leans over and asks, "So how high can you advance in your organization?"

The Priest says "If I am lucky, I guess I could become a Bishop."

"Well, could you get any higher than that?" asks the Rabbi.

"I suppose that if my works are seen in a very good light that I might be made an Arch Bishop" said the Priest a bit cautiously.

"Is there any way that you might go higher than that?"

"If all the Saints should smile, I guess I could be made a Cardinal", said the priest.

"Could you be anything higher than a Cardinal?" probed the Rabbi.

Hesitating a little bit, the Priest said "I supose that I could be elected Pope, but..."

So the Rabbi says "And could you be anything higher than that?, is there any way to go up from being the Pope?"

"What!!! I should be the Messiah himself!?!"

The Rabbi leaned back and said "One of our boys made it." From dpn@panda.UUCP (Rambo) Wed Aug 28 12:40:51 1985 Newsgroups: net.jokes

(Category: Miscellaneous)
After having had several drinks in a bar, a man staggers out and starts walking down the road with one foot in the gutter and the other on the curb.

A policeman runs up to the man and says, "Hey! You're drunk!".

Whereupon the man says, "Gee thanks, Officer, I thought I was crippled".

(Category: Miscellaneous)
USENET Parody No no, the question is: How many USENET posters does it take to change a lightbulb? A1. Define "change" A2. How do you know the lightbulb is out? A3. Don't use the word "posters" to describe us, it's offensive to large sheets of papers with pictures on them which hang on walls. A4. That question is not appropriate for this group, please take it elsewhere. A5. I think it's perfectly appropriate, this is alt.fan.lightbulbs. A6. Well, that's because you're a twit. A7. Who are you calling a "twit"? Besides, you spelled "twit" wrong. A8. Oh? And how exactly do *you* spell "twit", twit? A9. Could you two take this to e-mail? Doesn't anyone want to talk about lightbulb fans instead of flaming? A10. You're a twit also, who died and made you net.cop? A11. Look, all of you, take it to alt.flame or e-mail or something. A12. Hey, USENET is an anarchy, you have no right to tell them what to post or not post. A13. Speaking of anarchists, why don't you all vote for Andre Marrou, Libertarian Party Candidate for President? A14. Because the Libertarians are all twits. A15. Waitaminit! Now we're arguing politics on alt.fan.lightbulb???? A16. Stop wasting bandwidth with this stuff! A17. What "stuff" pray tell? A18. Yikes! It's dark in here! A19. Define "dark". A20. I mean the lightbulb must be out. A21. So change it. A22. Define "change"...

(Category: Miscellaneous)
Did you know that they are going to change the name of the Dallas Cowboys' Stadium?
It's going to be called Drug Emporium.

(Category: Miscellaneous)
I resent that remark." said the blonde as she rose from the
cafeteria table. "I'll give you 5 seconds to take that back."

"Oh yeah?" snarled the dark haired woman, who upon standing
was head and shoulders above the blonde. "Suppose I don't take
it back in five seconds ?"

"Well..." stammered the blonde, "how much time do you need ?"


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