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You are being blessed with the gift of laughter! Here are your 5 random jokes from Joke-Master.com for today!:
Frenchman: In Canada, what do you do with your used tires?
Canadian: We send em to France to get turned into paper plates.
French man: What do you do with your used plastic bags?
Canadian: (after blowing a huge bubble) We send em to France to get turned into a gold ring. Hey, what do you do with your used comdoms?
French man: we send em to Canada to get turned into bubble gum.
If you're not part of the solution, you're part of the precipitate
(Picture of Einstein in a police uniform with caption): 186,000 miles per second. It's not just a good idea, it's the law.
Feathers are light.
The sun gives off light.
Therefore, the sun gives off feathers.
(Category: Funny Quotes)
- Hubert Humphrey
(Category: Girls vs. Boys)
He had his chauffeured limousine take him to a high-priced specialist who studied him and then gave him a shot of spermatozoa. "Now look," the doctor said, "the only way you're going to get it up is to say "beep," and then to get it soft again, you say, "beep, beep."
"How marvelous," the old man said.
"Yes, but I must warn you," the doctor said," it's only going to work three times before you die."
On his way home, the man decided he wasn't going to live through three of them anyway, so he decided to waste one trying it out. "Beep!" he said.
Immediately he was up.
Satisfied, he said, "beep, beep," and he was down again. He chuckled with delight and anticipation.
At that moment, a little yellow Volkswagen pulled past his limousine and went "beep," and the car in the opposite lane responded with "beep beep."
Alert to his jeopardy, the old man instructed his chauffeur to "speed it up." He raced into the house as fast as he could for his last great lay. "Honey," he shouted at her, "don't ask questions. Just drop your clothes and hope into bed." Caught up in his excitement, she did. He undressed nervously and hurried in after her. Just as he was climbing into bed, he said, "beep," and he was up.
He was just starting to enter his young wife when she said, "What's all this "beep beep" shit?"
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