Thursday, October 8, 2009 :: Your Daily Jokes for - Thursday, October 8th, 2009

Joke Master! Good Morning!
You are being blessed with the gift of laughter! Here are your 5 random jokes from for today!:

(Category: Miscellaneous)
A blonde is walking down the street with a pig under her arm. She passes a person who asks, ''Where did you get that?'' The pig says, ''I won her in a raffle!''

(Category: Kid Jokes)
Father: "Son, when Abraham Lincoln was your age, he walked 12 miles to school."
Son: "Dad, when Abraham Lincoln was your age, he was President."

(Category: Political Jokes)
Bill Clinton went jogging one morning and came upon the Washington monument. He said "George, what should I do?"

After a few seconds George replied "Abolish the IRS and start over."

Bill thought about this for a few seconds and continued jogging.

Shortly he came upon the Jefferson Memorial and stopped. He said "Tom, what should I do?"

After a few seconds Tom replied "Abolish welfare and start over."

Bill continued jogging after thinking about this and came upon the Lincoln Memorial. He said "Abe, what should I do?"

After a few seconds Abe replied "Why don't you take the night off and go to the theater?"

(Category: Murphy's Law)

"I'll do it in a jiffy"
means "Certainly not now, and possibly never"

(Category: Miscellaneous)
A man went to the Doctor and the doctor told him he had only 24 hours to live. He goes home to tell his wife and after they both had a long cry over it, he asked her if she would have sex with him since he only had 24 hours to live. "Of course Darling," she replied. And so they have sex. Four hours later they are lying in bed and he turns to her again and says, "you know I only have 20 hours to live, do you think we could do it again?" Again she responds very sympathetically and agrees to have sex. Another 8 hours pass, and she had fallen asleep from exhaustion. He taps her on the shoulder, and asks her again, "You know dear, I only have 12 more hours left, how about again for old times sake?" By this time she is getting a little annoyed, but reluctantly agrees. After they finish she goes back to sleep and 4 hours later, he taps her on the shoulder again and says, "Dear, I hate to keep bothering you but you know I only have 8 hours left before I die, can we do it one more time?" She turns to him with a sour look on her face and says, "You know....... you don't have to get up in the morning. I do!!!"


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