Monday, October 19, 2009 :: Your Daily Jokes for - Monday, October 19th, 2009

Joke Master! Good Morning!
You are being blessed with the gift of laughter! Here are your 5 random jokes from for today!:

(Category: One Liners)
Surprise your boss. Get to work on time.

(Category: One Liners)
This is as bad as it can get, but don't count on it.

(Category: Miscellaneous)
Q: Why don't chickens like people?
A: They beat eggs!

Q: Why did the rooster run away?
A: He was chicken!

Q: What do chickens grow on?
A: Eggplants!

Q: Why did the chicken cross the basketball court?
A: He heard the referee calling fowls Q: Why is it easy for chicks to talk?
A: Because talk is cheep!

Q: What do you get when you cross a chicken with a duck?
A: A bird that lays down!

Q: What happens when a hen eats gunpowder?
A: She lays hand gren-eggs!

Q: Why did the chicken cross the "net"?
A: It wanted to get to the other site!

Q: What do you call a rooster who wakes you up at the same time every morning?
A: An alarm cluck!

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road half way?
A: He wanted to lay it on the line!

(Category: Dirty Jokes)
A farmer and his wife are given the gift of a parrot from a relative. The parrot being a male sneaks out and screws the next door neighbors Turkey's and rushes back home before being caught in the act. The next door neighbors knock on the door and explain what the Parrot has been doing. The owners of the parrot reprimand him and tell him if he doesn't stop it he's going to shave the parrot's head.

That night the parrot, overcome with desire, sneaks out again and screws his neighbors turkeys again. The next morning the owner ties the bird down and proceeds to shave his head.

The following morning is the Farmers daughters wedding, and in order to please the relative that gave them the parrot they sit the parrot on a piano and tell him for his punishment he has to greet all the guests and tell them where to sit in the church.

The parrot is doing fine. "Grooms side to the left and Brides side to the right"

And then two bald guys walk in and he say's, "And you two Turkey fuckers up on the piano with me."

(Category: Miscellaneous)
A man is in a hotel lobby. He wants to ask the clerk a question. As he turns to go to the front desk, he accidentally bumps into a woman beside him and as he does, his elbow goes into her breast. They are both quite startled. The man turns to her and says, "Ma'am, if your heart is as soft as your breast, I know you'll forgive me." She replies, "if your penis is as hard as your elbow, I'm in room 1221."


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