Wednesday, August 26, 2009 :: Your Daily Jokes for - Wednesday, August 26th, 2009

Joke Master! Good Morning!
You are being blessed with the gift of laughter! Here are your 5 random jokes from for today!:

(Category: Miscellaneous)

Once a woman told a man that they use alligators to make shoes.

He shook his head and said, "What will they teach them to do next?"

(Category: Miscellaneous)
All marriages are happy--it's the living together afterward that causes all the problems.

Did you hear about the scientist whose wife had twins? He baptized one and kept the other as a control.

Disclaimer: Even my wife doesn't agree with everything I say, and she loves me dearly. My employers don't love me nearly as much as she does. Draw your own conclusions.

It was very good of God to let Carlyle and Mrs Carlyle marry one another and so make only two people miserable instead of four, besides being very amusing.

May you be blessed with a wife so healthy and strong, she can pull the plow when your horse drops dead.

May you learn to perform miracles: earn a living and marry off your daughters.

May your daughters marry men of substance: gypsies with two bears.

Sign in a marriage counselor's window: "Out to lunch - Think it over."

The gods gave man fire and he invented fire engines. They gave him love and he invented marriage.

There is no realizable power that man cannot, in time, fashion the tools to attain, nor any power so secure that the naked ape will not abuse it. So it is written in the genetic cards - only physics and war hold him in check. And the wife who wants him home by five, of course. -- Encyclopaedia Apocryphia

(Category: Nerd Jokes)
Biology grows on you.

(Category: Miscellaneous)

1) It is on everybody's mind all the time.

2) Everyone is talking about it all the time.

3) Everyone thinks everyone else is doing it.

4) Almost no one is really doing it.

5) The few who are doing it are:

a) doing it poorly;

b) sure it will be better next time;

c) not practicing it safely.

(Category: Miscellaneous)
A little boy turned to his grandpa and said, "grandpa, talk like a frog."

The Grandpa replied "What?, I'm not going to talk like a frog!"

The little boy again asked, "come on, Grandpa talk like a frog please."

Grandpa again said "No! Go bother your grandmother."

The little boy finally gave up and left.

A little while later the little boy's sister came in and said "Grandpa will you talk like a frog for me?"

Grandpa of course replied, "NO!"

The little girl then said "Please grandpa will you talk just like a frog"?

Grandpa was very disturbed by now and said, "what is it with you and your brother, why in the world do you want me to talk like a frog?"

The little girl looked at her grandpa and said "Well last night daddy told us that when you croak we are going to go to Disney World."


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