Thursday, August 20, 2009 :: Your Daily Jokes for - Thursday, August 20th, 2009

Joke Master! Good Morning!
You are being blessed with the gift of laughter! Here are your 5 random jokes from for today!:

(Category: Miscellaneous)
"Why do you look so glum today?", the teacher asked young Johnny. "I didn't have no breakfast," Johnny mumbled. "You poor dear," said the teacher. "Now, to return to our geography lesson, Johnny, where is the French border?" "In bed with my mom. That's why I didn't have no breakfast."

(Category: Dirty Jokes)
So, this guy keeps going to several doctors because they all think that he looks terrible. "You look horrible," they all say.

"But I feel great!" he always replies.

They continue with tests and more tests.

"Doctor, I feel wonderful," he protests.

"But you look bad," they all rebutted.

Finally one discovered, "Looks bad but feels great. He must be a vulva!"

(Category: Funny Quotes)
"I discovered I scream the same way whether I'm about to be devoured by a Great White or if a piece of seaweed touches my foot."
- Axel Rose (Guns'n'Roses)

(Category: Miscellaneous)
You're so short, you could play racquetball on the curb.

(Category: Miscellaneous)
A man staggers into an emergency room with two black eyes and a five iron wrapped tightly around his throat. Naturally the doctor asks him what happened.

"Well, it was like this," said the man. "I was having a quiet round of golf with my wife, when she sliced her ball into a pasture of cows."

"We went to look for it, and while I was rooting around I noticed one of the cows had something white at its rear end. I walked over and lifted up the tail, and sure enough, there was my wife's golf ball....stuck right in the middle of the cow's butt. That's when I made my mistake."

"What did you do?" asks the doctor.

"Well, I lifted the tail and yelled to my wife, 'Hey, this looks like yours!'"


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