Wednesday, December 30, 2009 :: Your Daily Jokes for - Wednesday, December 30th, 2009

Joke Master! Good Morning!
You are being blessed with the gift of laughter! Here are your 5 random jokes from for today!:

(Category: Girls vs. Boys)
A guy goes to a girl's house for the first time, and she shows him into the living room. She excuses herself to go to the kitchen to make them a few drinks, and as he's standing there alone, he notices a cute little vase on the mantel.
He picks it up, and as he's looking at it, she walks back in. He says "What's this?"
She says, "Oh, my father's ashes are in there."
He goes, "Geez...oooh....I..."
She says, "Yeah, he's too lazy to go to the kitchen to get an ashtray."

(Category: One Liners)
Procrastination is like masturbation...
sure it feels good at first, but then you realize you're only screwing yourself.

(Category: One Liners)

(Category: Miscellaneous)
Jacob age 85, and Rebecca age 79 are all excited about their decision to get married. They go for a stroll to discuss the wedding and on the way go past a drugstore. Jacob suggests that they go in. He addresses the man behind the counter: "Are you the owner?" The pharmacist answers, "Yes." Jacob: "Do you sell heart medication?" Pharmacist: "Of course we do." Jacob: "How about medicine for circulation?" Pharmacist: "All kinds." Jacob: "Medicine for rheumatism?" Pharmacist: "Definitely." Jacob: "How about Viagra?" Pharmacist: "Of course." Jacob: "Medicine for memory?" Pharmacist: "Yes, a large variety." Jacob: "What about vitamins and sleeping pills?" Pharmacist: "Absolutely." Jacob: "Perfect! We'd like to register here for our wedding gifts."

(Category: Miscellaneous)
Two pedophiles were sitting on the beach. One said to the other "Hey get out of my son!"


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