Sunday, December 27, 2009 :: Your Daily Jokes for - Sunday, December 27th, 2009

Joke Master! Good Morning!
You are being blessed with the gift of laughter! Here are your 5 random jokes from for today!:

(Category: Miscellaneous)
Supposedly, these are actual advertisements that have appeared in papers across the country.

For Sale -- Eight puppies from a German Shepperd and an Alaskan Hussy.

Great Dames for sale.

Have several very old dresses from grandmother in beautiful condition.

Tired of cleaning yourself? Let me do it.

Dog for sale: eats anything and is fond of children.

Vacation Special: have your home exterminated.

If you think you've seen everything in Paris, visit the Pere Lachasis Cemetery. It boasts such immortals as Moliere, Jean de la Fontain, and Chopin.

Mt. Kilimanjaro, the breathtaking backdrop for the Serena Lodge. Swim in the lovely pool while you drink it all in.

The hotel has bowling alleys, tennis courts, comfortable beds, and other athletic facilities.

(Category: Miscellaneous)
A French woman took her little daughter to the Louvre where they saw a statue of a nude male. "What is that?" asked the child pointing to the penis.

"Nothing, nothing at all, Cherie," replied the mother.

"I want one," said the child. The mother tried to focus her daughter's attention on a more suitable subject, but the little girl persisted. "I want one just like that," she kept repeating.

At last the mother said, "If you are a good girl and stop thinking about it now, when you grow up, you will have one."

"And if I'm bad?" asked the little one.

"Then," answered the mother, "You will have many."

(Category: Miscellaneous)
After eight years in college, there is one Aggie student who still can't seem to get himself graduated. He got in five years on a football scholarship, and everyone likes him, but he just can't seem to make it through his classes.

The professors and the board of regents at the school are beginning to be anxious about the possible damage to the school's reputation, and decide that graduate or not, Jethro has got to go. They are worried that the general public is going to hear about this student hasn't graduated after eight years. After conferring with each other, they give him the news: "Jethro, we've decided that this is going to be your last semester at A&M. So we're going to give you a test at graduation time. We're going to ask you just one question, and if you answer it correctly, you graduate. If you answer it incorrectly, you don't graduate. But either way, this is your last semester and it's time to leave the school."

So graduation rolls around, and Jethro is the very last person to step up, because he still has to take the test. Everyone at school knows about it and each person in the audience holds his breath as the university president asks Jethro the Test Question. "Jethro, what's four plus three?" Jethro thinks hard for a moment, and then hesitantly answers, "Seven?" There is a brief moment of silence, and then another Aggie calls out from the audience:

"Aw, gee, give him another chance!"

(Category: Miscellaneous)
Todd meets a girl out at a nightclub and she invites him back
to her place for the night, she still lived with her parents,
but they were out of town and this is the perfect opportunity.

They get back to her house and they go into her bedroom, when
Todd walks in the door he notices all these fluffy toys.
There's hundreds of them, fluffy toys on top of the wardrobe,
fluffy toys on the bookshelf and window sill, there's more on
the floor,
and of course fluffy toys all over the bed.

Later after they've had sex, Todd turns to her and asks "So...
how was I?"

She says "Well, you can take anything from the bottom shelf."

(Category: Miscellaneous)
Men are like.....Bank Accounts. Without a lot of money, they don't generate much interest.


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