Joke-Master.com :: Your Daily Jokes for - Monday, December 28th, 2009

Good Morning GlobalEducation100@gmail.com! You are being blessed with the gift of laughter! Here are your 5 random jokes from Joke-Master.com for today!:

	#1 (Category: Miscellaneous) What do a Blonde and KFC have in common? After your done with the breast and the thigh all you have left is a greasy bucket to stick your bone into. #2 (Category: Miscellaneous) What did the impatient helicopter say to its clumsy mechanic? "Chop chop." #3 (Category: Miscellaneous) The Top 12 Signs You're Being Stalked By A Farm Animal Every morning at the bus stop, that same pig is reading the newspaper -- upside down! Whenever you cross the road, so does that damned chicken! That foul smell, and you're not with your beer drinking buddies. Heavy bleating on the other end of the phone. Silhouette of knife-wielding Holstein appears on your shower curtain. Everywhere you go, the bell! The bell!! THE BELL!!! You find a knit cap and four bloody gloves. You keep hearing, "Oink oink," and there isn't a See'n'Say toy in sight. After an ugly breakup with Flopsy, you find Glenn Close floating in a pot on your stove. While baking custard pie, you step in cow pie. All 84 Caller ID entries read, "Babe." and the Number 1 Sign You're Being Stalked By A Farm Animal... Note on your doorstep says, "We'll see who's laughing at Thanksgiving this year, Ginsu Boy!" #4 (Category: Religious Jokes) A little boy wanted a $100.00 very badly, he prayed and prayed for two weeks but nothing happened. Then he decided to write GOD a letter requesting the $100.00. When the postal service received the letter to GOD USA, they decided to send it to President Clinton. The President was so impressed, touched, and amused that he instructed his secretary to send the little boy a $5.00 bill. Mr. Clinton thought this would appear to be a lot of money to a little boy. The little boy was delighted with the $5.00 and sat down to write a thank you note to GOD, which read: Dear GOD, Thank you very much for sending me the money, however, I noticed that for some reason you had to send it through Washington and, as usual, those jerks deducted $95.00. #5 (Category: Miscellaneous) A guy from Czechslovakia was visiting his cousin the lawyer in California, and they went for a hike in Yellowstone Park. While they were hiking they were attacked by 2 bears, one male and one female. The male bear dismembered and ate the Czechslovakian guy, but the lawyer managed to escape. He ran straight to the nearest Rangers station, and told them what had happened, and they sent out a group of rangers to see what was going on. Sure enough, the Rangers arrived at the place that the lawyer mentioned, and there were the female and the male bears. So one of the Rangers took his rifle and shot the female. So the other Rangers asked "why did you shoot the female? he said that the male ate his friend" So the Ranger answers "Would you believe a lawyer if he told you that the Czech is in the male?"

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