Monday, December 7, 2009 :: Your Daily Jokes for - Monday, December 7th, 2009

Joke Master! Good Morning!
You are being blessed with the gift of laughter! Here are your 5 random jokes from for today!:

(Category: Funny Quotes)
"I loathe people who keep dogs. They are cowards who haven't got the guts to bite people themselves."
- Jim Harrison

(Category: Miscellaneous)

A guy walks into a post office one day to see a middle-aged, balding man standing at the counter methodically placing "Love" stamps on bright pink envelopes with hearts all over them. He then takes out a perfume bottle and starts spraying scent all over them.

His curiosity getting the better of him, he goes up to the balding man and asks him what he is doing. The man says, "I'm sending out one thousand Valentine cards signed, 'Guess who?'"

"But why?" asks the man.

"I'm a divorce lawyer," the man replies.

(Category: Miscellaneous)

You're a redneck if .... You have been fired from a construction job because of your appearance.

(Category: Girls vs. Boys)
A drunk is driving through the city and his car is weaving violently all over the road. An Irish cop pulls him over.

"So," says the cop to the driver, "where have you been?"

"I've been to the pub," slurs the drunk. "Well," says the cop, "it looks like you've had quite a few.

"I did all right," the drunk says with a smile.

"Did you know," says the cop, standing straight and folding his arms, "that a few intersections back, your wife fell out of your car?"

"Oh, thank heavens," sighs the drunk. "For a minute there, I thought I'd gone deaf."

(Category: Miscellaneous)
Visiting a lawyer for advice, the wife said, "I want you to help me get a divorce. The Lawyer says OK, what are your grounds. My husband is getting a little queer to sleep with." "What do you mean?" asked the attorney. "Does he force you to indulge in unusual sex practices?" "No," replied the woman, "and neither does the little queer."


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