Sunday, December 13, 2009 :: Your Daily Jokes for - Sunday, December 13th, 2009

Joke Master! Good Morning!
You are being blessed with the gift of laughter! Here are your 5 random jokes from for today!:

(Category: Murphy's Law)
Allen's Law

Almost anything is easier to get into than to get out of.

(Category: Miscellaneous)
Hoss rode into town to buy a bull. Unfortunately, when he bought it, he was left with one dollar. Hoss needed to tell his wife to come with the truck and get the bull, but telegrams cost one dollar per word. Hoss said to the telegram man,"OK. I have my one word-'comfortable'." Why do you want to tell her that?

(Category: Girls vs. Boys)
A rich millionaire throws a massive party for his 50th birthday. During this party, he grabs the microphone and announces to his guests that down in the garden of his mansion he has a swimming pool with two great white sharks in it.
"I will give anything of mine to the man who swims across that pool."
So the party continues with no events in the pool until SUDDENLY, there is a great splash and all the guests of the party run to the pool to see what has happened.
In the pool a man is swimming as hard as he can and fins come out of the water and jaws are snapping and this guy just keeps on going. The sharks are gaining on him and this guy reaches the end and gets out of the pool, tired and soaked. The millionaire grabs the microphone and says, "I am a man of my word. Anything of mine I will give: my Ferraris, my house, absolutely anything, for you are the bravest man I have ever seen. So sir what will it be?" The guy grabs the microphone and says, "Why don't we start with the name of the jerk who pushed me in!"

(Category: Miscellaneous)
A little boy was overheard talking to himself as he strutted through the backyard, wearing his baseball cap and toting a ball and bat: "I'm the greatest hitter in the world," he announced. Then, he tossed the ball into the air, swung at it, and missed.

"Strike One!" he yelled. Undaunted, he picked up the ball and said again, "I'm the greatest hitter in the world!" He tossed the ball into the air. When it came down he swung again and missed.

"Strike Two!" he cried. The boy then paused a moment to examine his bat and ball carefully. He spit on his hands and rubbed them together. He straightened his cap and said once more, "I'm the greatest hitter in the world!" Again he tossed the ball up in the air and swung at it. He missed.

"Strike Three! "Wow!" he exclaimed. "I'm the greatest pitcher in the world!"

(Category: Professional Jokes)
Dr. Middleton, the new intern on duty at the hospital emergency room, answered the phone late one night. "Doctor," exclaimed a woman, "what shall I do? We just discovered our two-year-old son has eaten a whole tube of contraceptive jelly."

"Well," replied the intern, "If it's really an emergency, why don't you have one of the all-night drugstores deliver another tube?"


Thank you for subscribing to the Email List!

If you wish to remove yourself from this list, please reply to this email with the subject line "REMOVE:"
-The Joke Master

No comments:

Post a Comment