 | Good Morning GlobalEducation100@gmail.com! You are being blessed with the gift of laughter! Here are your 5 random jokes from Joke-Master.com for today!: |
| (Category: Miscellaneous) The German controllers at Frankfurt Airport were a short-tempered lot. They not only expected you to know your parking location but how to get there without any assistance from them. So it was with some amusement that we (PanAm 747) listened to the following exchange between Frankfurt ground and a British Airways 747 (radio call Speedbird 206) after landing. Speedbird 206: "Good morning Frankfurt, Speedbird 206 clear of the active." Ground: "Good Morning, taxi to your gate." The British Airways 747 pulls onto the main taxiway and stops. Ground: "Speedbird, do you not know where you are going?" Speedbird 206: "Stand by, ground, I'm looking up the gate location now." Ground (impatiently): "Speedbird 206, have you never flown to Frankfurt before?" Speedbird 206 (coolly): "Yes, in 1944. But I didn't stop". (Category: Miscellaneous) A: Two - one to screw it in and the other to recover the fumble. Q: How many people at an American football match does it take to change a lightbulb ? A: Three. One to change it and two to tip the entire contents of the ice bucket over the coach to congratulate him on a successful bulb screwing. Q: How many University of Washington Husky football fans (or any over-the-top sports fans who pay way way too much attention to minutia surrounding "their" team) does it take to change a light bulb? A: A million and one. One to hold the old bulb, and the rest to all try and make the world revolve around it. Q: How many striking baseball players does it take to change a light bulb? A: None. All those replacement bulbs are scabs! Q: How many Rochester residents does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: Fifty one - one to screw in the bulb, and fifty to comment about how much better the bulb is than light bulbs in Buffalo. Q: How many Buffalonians does it take to screw a in a light bulb? A: Two-one to get the new bulb out of the snowbank, and one to screw it in. Q: How many American wrestlers does it take to change a lightbulb ? A: Three. One to yank the old bulb out, throw it on the floor, try and jump onto it from a great height, and act real surprised when it rolls out of the way at the last minute, one to pretend to twist the new one in round and round so far it almost breaks, and some guy in a black and white stripey uniform whose function is never made quite clear to protest about something or other, to the complete indifference of the bulb changers. Q: How many American wrestlers does it take to change a lightbulb ? A: 5. One to change it 4 to fake it. (Category: Miscellaneous) What do witches cats like for breakfast? Mice krispies! A witch joke Who went into a witche's den and came out alive? The witch! A witch joke What do you get if you cross a witches cat with a canary? A peeping tom! A witch joke Why is "S" the witches favourite letter? Because he turns cream into scream! A witch joke What do you get if you cross a sorceress with a millionaire? A very witch person! A witch joke What is a witches favorite drink? Tea-hee-hee! A witch joke What's a witches favorite film? My Fear Lady! (Category: Miscellaneous) A: Three. One to change it and two to have a debate about whether this is the right time of year to be putting in lightbulbs or daffodil bulbs. Q: How many gardeners does it take to change a lightbulb? A: Just one. The new light bulbs are just as easy to change as the older, heavier ones. Q: How many cats does it takes to screw in a light bulb? A: You can throw away your light bulbs. Just douse the cat with gasoline, light it up with a match, and you'll have all the light you need. Q: How many auto mechanics does it take to change a light bulb? A: Six--one to force it with a hammer and five to go out for more bulbs. Q: How many auto mechanics does it take to change a light bulb? A: Two, one to screw in all the bulbs he has until he finds one that fits, and the other to tell you he thinks he'll have to replace the whole socket. Q: How many Englishmen does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: What do you mean change it? It's a perfectly good bloody bulb! We have had it for a thousand years and it has worked just *fine*. (Category: One Liners) | ||
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