Wednesday, December 9, 2009 :: Your Daily Jokes for - Wednesday, December 9th, 2009

Joke Master! Good Morning!
You are being blessed with the gift of laughter! Here are your 5 random jokes from for today!:

(Category: Family Jokes)
A man and his wife were sitting in the living room discussing a

(Category: Dirty Jokes)
A man goes to a psychiatrist and tells him "I've got this problem."

The psychiatrist asks "what is it?"

"Well, during the day I'm attracted to women and for some reson at night I'm attracted to men. Do you know what it could be?"

The psychiatrist reflects for a minute a says "This sounds like a classic case of Dr.Jekyl and Mr.Hiney."

(Category: Miscellaneous)
Excerpts from actual letters sent to landlords

The toilet is blocked and we cannot bathe the children until it is cleared.

I want some repairs done to my stove as it has backfires and burnt my knob off.

This is to let you know that there is a smell coming from the man next door.

The toilet seat is cracked: where do I stand?

I am writing on behalf of my sink, which is running away from the wall.

I request your permission to remove my drawers in the kitchen.

Our lavatory seat is broken in half and is now in three pieces.

The person next door has a large erection in his back garden, which is unsightly and dangerous.

Will you please send someone to mend our cracked sidewalk? Yesterday my wife tripped on it and is now pregnant.

Our kitchen floor is very damp, we have two children and would like a third, so will you please send someone to do something about it.

Will you please send a man to look at my water? It is a funny color and not fit to drink.

Would you please send a man to repair my downspout? I am an old-age pensioner and need it straight away.

Could you please send someone to fix our bath tap? My wife got her toe stuck in it and it is very uncomfortable for us.

I want to complain about the farmer across the road. Every morning at 5:30 his cock wakes me up, and it is getting too much.

When the workmen were here, they put their tools in my wife's new drawers and made a mess. Please send men with clean tools to finish the job and keep my wife happy.

(Category: Miscellaneous)
Quayle, Gingrich, and Clinton are traveling in a car together
in the midwest. A tornado comes along and whirls them up into
the air and tosses them thousands of yards away. When they
come to and extract themselves from the vehicle, they realize
they're in the Land of Oz. They decide to go see the Wizard
of Oz.

Quayle says, "I'm going to ask the Wizard for a brain!"

Gingrich says,"I'm going to ask the Wizard for a heart!"

Clinton says, "Where's Dorothy?"

(Category: Miscellaneous)
There was a tribe in Africa which was very fierce and warring...they would battle all the tribes in the area, and they always won. As a victory trophy, they would take the throne of the chief of the defeated tribe and carry it home, chanting victory chants and singing the whole way. When they got home, they would put the throne in the attic of the grass hut. This went on for quite some time, and soon the throne collection grew, adding to the prestige of the tribe.

One day, they battled a tribe of farily large people, some might call them giants. They won, and they struggled to get the throne home...but the chanting and joyesness prevailed as usual. When they got home, they had the ritual of putting the throne in the attic of the grass hut, but the weight was too much. The ceiling collapsed, killing everyone on the tribe.

The moral: People who live in grass houses shouldn't stow thrones.


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