Tuesday, September 29, 2009

Joke-Master.com :: Your Daily Jokes for - Tuesday, September 29th, 2009

Joke Master! Good Morning GlobalEducation100@gmail.com!
You are being blessed with the gift of laughter! Here are your 5 random jokes from Joke-Master.com for today!:

(Category: One Liners)
How can there be self-help groups?

(Category: Miscellaneous)
Blondes dumb?!?!? After many hours of extremely acrobatic and exhausting sex with a blonde he had just picked up, a man goes into the kitchen for some food to replenish his justspent energy. He pours himself a glass of milk and right before drinking it, he realizes his manhood is still pretty hot,so he sticks it in the glass to cool it off. Just then the blonde walks in and says, "Oh, I always wondered how you refilled those."

(Category: Miscellaneous)
The phone rings at KGB headquarters. "Hello?"

"Hello, is this KGB?"

"Yes. What do you want?"

"I'm calling to report my neighbor Yankel Rabinovitz as an enemy of the State.

He is hiding undeclared diamonds in his firewood."

"This will be noted."

Next day, the KGB goons come over to Rabinovitz's house. They search the shed where the firewood is kept, break every piece of wood, find no diamonds, swear at Yankel Rabinovitz, and leave.

The phone rings at Rabinovitz's house.

"Hello, Yankel! Did the KGB come?"


"Did they chop your firewood?"

"Yes, they did."

"Okay, now it's your turn to call. I need my vegetable patch plowed."

(Category: One Liners)
Death and taxes are inevitable; at least death doesn't get worse every year.

(Category: Miscellaneous)
In every work of genius we recognize our rejected thoughts.

In order to get a loan, you must first prove you don't need it.

In spite of all evidence to the contrary, the entire universe is composed of only two basic substances: magic and lies.

In the fight between you and the world, back the world.

Incompetence is a double-edged banana.

Influence is like a savings account. The less you use it, the more you've got. - Andrew Young, American politician

Inspiration and perspiration are related by more than rhyme.

Intelligence is a tool to be used towards a goal, and goals are not always chosen intelligently. - Larry Niven 'Protector'

Interchangable parts won't.

Incompetence knows no barriers of time or place.

It may be that your whole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others.


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