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You are being blessed with the gift of laughter! Here are your 5 random jokes from Joke-Master.com for today!:
(Category: Ethnic Jokes)
"The Gooks of Hazzard".
(Category: Religious Jokes)
One day upon entering his last nursing home he was met by the head nurse. She said "Mrs. Smith has been waiting for you all day, and she wanted to make sure you didn't forget her."
The Father apologized for being so late and went on into Mrs. Smith's room. He sat next to her and started talking and said a little prayer for her. Then Mrs. Smith started to talk about her day. While he was listening, he noticed a small bowl of peanuts next to her.
The father Interupted, and asked if he could have a few of the peanuts.
She of course said yes, and continued on and on, talking about her day.
The Father interrupted her again and said "Mrs. Smith I'm sorry, I've eaten almost all your peanuts."
Mrs. Smith looked at him and said, "Don't worry about it at all, I can't eat peanuts, I just like to eat the chocolate off of them."
2. Make up a charge-card name. Ask if they accept it.
3. Use CB lingo where applicable.
4. Order a Big Mac Extra Value Meal.
5. Terminate the call with, "Remember, we never had this conversation."
6. Tell the order taker a rival pizza place is on the other line and you're going with the lowest bidder.
7. Give them your address, exclaim "Oh, just surprise me!" and hang up.
8. Answer their questions with questions.
(Category: Dirty Jokes)
One day she wandered down to the docks and spotted a worker getting ready to load supplies onto a boat. "Please I need to get back to England" she pleaded. "If you sneak me onboard tonight I'll give you favors all the way across the ocean."
Well needless to say later that night he put her in a duffel bag and carried her onboard. Down in the hold where she was hidden he said, "When I bring you some food, twice a day, I'll collect." And being true to her word she agreed.
This went on for about a week when by accident the captain found her.
"Please don't get angry," she started to say and explained the story to the captain who busted up laughing.
"Why are you laughing?" she demanded.
He said, "Because you're on the Statten Island Ferry."
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