Wednesday, September 9, 2009 :: Your Daily Jokes for - Wednesday, September 9th, 2009

Joke Master! Good Morning!
You are being blessed with the gift of laughter! Here are your 5 random jokes from for today!:

(Category: Miscellaneous)
They Told him that it couldn't be done,
But he with a smile replied
That maybe it couldn't, but he wasn't one
Who'd give up until he'd tried.
So he jumped right in with a determined grin,
And put all his effort into it.
He tackled that job that couldn't be done...
And by gosh, he couldn't do it!
-Ogden Nash

(Category: Miscellaneous)
How does a blonde drown a fish?
She puts it under water.

How does a blonde kill a bird?
She throws it off a roof.

How do you know if a blonde likes you? She sleeps with you 2 nights in a row.

How do you get a blonde to marry you? Tell her she's pregnant.

What do you call a virgin blonde?
A myth.

(Category: Dirty Jokes)
One day Pete was complaining to his friend "my elbow hurts. I better see a doctor". His friend said "Don't do that. There's a computer in the drug store that can diagnose anything. It's quicker and cheaper than visiting a doctor. Simply put a urine sample in the machine and it will diagnose your problem and tell you what to do about it. It only costs $10.00."

Pete figured he had nothing to lose so he filled a jar with a urine sample. He went to the drug store. Finding the computer, he poured in the sample and deposited $10.00. The computer started to make a weird nose and various lights began to flash. After a brief pause, a small slip of paper printed. It said:

You have tennis elbow.  Soak your arm in warm water, avoid heavy labor, it will be better in two weeks. 

Later that evening, while thinking how amazing that computer was, Pete began to wonder if it could be fooled. He decided to give it a try.

He mixed some tap water, a stool sample from his dog, urine samples from his wife and daughter. To top it off, he masterbated into the concoction. He went back to the drug store, poured the sample into the machine and deposited $10.00. The machinhe again made the usual noise and printed out the following analysis:

 Your water is hard, get a softener.   Your dog has worms,  get him shots.   Your daughter's using cocaine, get her into a rehab clinic.   Your wife's pregnant, it's not yours, get a lawyer.   And if you don't stop jerking off,  Your tennis elbow will never get better! 

(Category: Nerd Jokes)
The owner of a small computer store was getting tired of fixing the exact same problem over and over on computers for day 3 customers came in at the same time. He looked at them all and said. Everyone one of your computers gave me this error message "Error you have a syntax IDtenT error.and asked them to right it down. All of them got out their pens and wrote IDtenT error, he smiled then told them. No that's not how you write it is the number "10". So they all wrote it again...ID10T error

(Category: Miscellaneous)
Did you hear about the Polish Navy's tragic accident? A hundred and thirty-seven sailors drowned trying to push-start their new submarine.


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