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You are being blessed with the gift of laughter! Here are your 5 random jokes from Joke-Master.com for today!:
But he with a smile replied
That maybe it couldn't, but he wasn't one
Who'd give up until he'd tried.
So he jumped right in with a determined grin,
And put all his effort into it.
He tackled that job that couldn't be done...
And by gosh, he couldn't do it!
She puts it under water.
How does a blonde kill a bird?
She throws it off a roof.
How do you know if a blonde likes you? She sleeps with you 2 nights in a row.
How do you get a blonde to marry you? Tell her she's pregnant.
What do you call a virgin blonde?
(Category: Dirty Jokes)
Pete figured he had nothing to lose so he filled a jar with a urine sample. He went to the drug store. Finding the computer, he poured in the sample and deposited $10.00. The computer started to make a weird nose and various lights began to flash. After a brief pause, a small slip of paper printed. It said:
You have tennis elbow. Soak your arm in warm water, avoid heavy labor, it will be better in two weeks.
Later that evening, while thinking how amazing that computer was, Pete began to wonder if it could be fooled. He decided to give it a try.
He mixed some tap water, a stool sample from his dog, urine samples from his wife and daughter. To top it off, he masterbated into the concoction. He went back to the drug store, poured the sample into the machine and deposited $10.00. The machinhe again made the usual noise and printed out the following analysis:
Your water is hard, get a softener. Your dog has worms, get him shots. Your daughter's using cocaine, get her into a rehab clinic. Your wife's pregnant, it's not yours, get a lawyer. And if you don't stop jerking off, Your tennis elbow will never get better!
(Category: Nerd Jokes)
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