|Good Morning GlobalEducation100@gmail.com! |
You are being blessed with the gift of laughter! Here are your 5 random jokes from Joke-Master.com for today!:
(Category: Dirty Jokes)
The first patient was locked in his room throwing tennis balls everywhere. The student asked why, and the patient answered "When I get out of here I going to ba a tennis pro."
The second patient was locked in his room throwing baseballs everywhere. When asked why he said "When I get out of here I going to be a professional baseball player."
The student thought he was starting to get the hang of things, until he looked in on the third patient. There locked in the middle of the room was a naked man, masturbating with a peanut on the end of his penis. The student asked, "I understand about the others, but what are you going to be when you get out of here?"
"They're never going to let me out of here," the patient said "I'm f**king nuts!"
None. They tell software to code around it.
While they were walking through the barn, during the forced inspection, the farmer's mule suddenly reared up and kicked the mother-in-law in the head, killing her instantly. It was a shock to all no matter their feelings toward her demanding ways.
At the funeral service a few days later, the farmer stood near the casket and greeted folks as they walked by. The pastor noticed that whenever a woman would whisper something to the farmer, he would nod his head yes and say something. Whenever a man walked by and whispered to the farmer, however, he would shake his head no, and mumble a reply.
Very curious as to this bizarre behavior, the pastor later asked the farmer what that was all about.
The farmer replied, "The women would say, 'What a terrible tragedy' and I would nod my head and say, 'Yes, it was.' The men would then ask, 'Can I borrow that mule?' and I would shake my head and say, 'Can't. It's all booked up for a year.'"
Opening the door, she observed her daughter giving herself a real workout with a vibrator.
Shocked, she asked, "What in the world are you doing?" The daughter replied, "Mom, I'm thirty-five years old, unmarried, and this thing is about as close as I'll ever get to a husband. Please, go away and leave me alone."
The next day, the girl's father heard the same buzz coming from the other side of the closed bedroom door. Upon entering the room, he observed his daughter making passionate love to her vibrator.
To his query as to what she was doing, the daughter said, "Dad, I'm thirty-five years old, unmarried, and this thing is about as close as I'll ever get to a husband. Please, go away and leave me alone."
A couple days later, the wife came home from shopping trip, placed the groceries on the kitchen counter, and heard that buzzing noise coming from, of all places, the family room.
She entered that area and observed her husband sitting on the couch, staring at the TV.
The vibrator was next to him on the couch, buzzing like crazy. The wife asked, "What are you doing!?"
The husband replied, "I'm watching the ball game with my son-in-law."
Thank you for subscribing to the Joke-Master.com Email List!
If you wish to remove yourself from this list, please reply to this email with the subject line "REMOVE:"
-The Joke Master