Wednesday, November 18, 2009 :: Your Daily Jokes for - Wednesday, November 18th, 2009

Joke Master! Good Morning!
You are being blessed with the gift of laughter! Here are your 5 random jokes from for today!:

(Category: Miscellaneous)

A lady was in the delivery room starting to deliver her baby. As the head came out it was dark and had an afro. The doctor said, "Madam, have you ever slept with a black man?"

"Well, yes, but only once."
"Once is all it takes" he replied.

Then the torso came out and it was yellow.
"Madam, have you ever slept with an oriental man?"
"Well, yes" she said, "but only once."

"Once is all it takes," he said.
When the legs came out they were red. The doctor asked her if she had ever slept with an Indian.
"Well, yes" she said, "but only once."
"Once is all it takes," he said.

He finally pulled the baby all the way out and held it upside down and slapped its bottom to make it cry. As it started to cry the woman exclaimed "Oh, thank God, at least it doesn't bark!"

(Category: Miscellaneous)
OLD RADIOS never die, they just stop receiving

OLD RAILROADERS never die, they just derail

OLD RAIN PUDDLES never die, they just dry up

OLD SAILORS never die, they just get a little "DINGHY"

OLD SAILORS never die, they just lose their porpoise

OLD SALESMEN never die, they just go out of commission

OLD SCHOOLS never die, they just lose their principals

OLD SCOTS never die, but they can be kilt

OLD SCULPTORS never die, they just lose their marbles

OLD SEAMSTRESSES never die, they just come to the point

OLD SEERS never die, they just lose their vision

OLD SEWAGE WORKERS never die, they just waste away

OLD SHEETROCKERS (dry wallers) never die, they just hang around

OLD SHOES MAKERS never die, they just lose their sole

OLD SKIERS never die, but they go downhill fast

(Category: Professional Jokes)
-A man goes to the dentist and says:
-My teeth are kind of yellow, what do you recommend?
-A brown tie!!!

(Category: Miscellaneous)
She was soooo blonde that ......

1. Took her new scarf back to the store because it was too tight.

2. Couldn't learn to water ski because she couldn't find a lake with a slope.

3. Can't work in a pharmacy because the bottles won't fit into the typewriter.

4. Got excited because she finished a jigsaw puzzle in 6 months and the box said "2 to 4 years".

5. Was trapped on an escalator for hours when the power went out.

6. Couldn't call 911 because there was no "Eleven" on any phone button.

7. When asked what the capital of California was, she answered "C."

8. Burnt her nose bobbing for French Fries.

9. Baked a turkey for 5 days because the instructions said 1 hour per pound and she weighed 125.

10. Can't make Kool-Aid because 8 cups of water won't fit into those
little packets.

11. Hates M&M's because they are so hard to peel.

12. Got hurt while raking leaves; fell out of the tree.

13. Changes the baby's diaper only once a month because the label said "good up to 20 pounds."

14. After losing in a breaststroke swimming competition, complained that the other swimmers were using their arms.

(Category: Miscellaneous)
They Told him that it couldn't be done,
But he with a smile replied
That maybe it couldn't, but he wasn't one
Who'd give up until he'd tried.
So he jumped right in with a determined grin,
And put all his effort into it.
He tackled that job that couldn't be done...
And by gosh, he couldn't do it!
-Ogden Nash


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