Friday, August 27, 2010 :: Your Weekly Jokes for - Friday, August 27th, 2010

Joke Master! Good Morning!
You are being blessed with the gift of laughter! Here are your 5 random jokes from for this week!:

(Category: Miscellaneous)

A man walks into a bar one night. He goes up to the bar and asks for a beer.

"Certainly, sir, that'll be 1 cent."

"One penny!" exclaimed the guy.

The barman replied, "Yes."

So the guy glances over at the menu, and he asks, "Could I have a nice juicy T-Bone steak, with chips, peas, and a fried egg?"

"Certainly sir," replies the bartender, "but all that comes to real money."

"How much money?" inquires the guy.

"4 cents", the bartender replies.

"Four cents!" exclaims the guy. "Where's the man who owns this place?"

The barman replies, "Upstairs with my wife."

The guy says, "What's he doing with your wife?"

The bartender replies, "Same thing I'm doing to his business."

(Category: Riddles)
What has seventy-five balls and screws old ladies?
- Bingo!

(Category: Ethnic Jokes)
What do you say to an [ethnic] with a job?
- "Burger and Fries please."

(Category: Miscellaneous)

The soldier serving in Hong Kong was annoyed and upset when his girl wrote breaking off their engagement and asking for her photograph back.

He went out and collected from his friends all the unwanted photographs of women that he could find, bundled them all together and sent them back with a note saying, "I regret to inform you that I cannot remember which one is you -- please keep your photo and return the others."

(Category: Ethnic Jokes)
There was a very rich old Irish man who had a little dog. It meant the world to him. When the dog died he went to the priest. "Father Murphy, my little dog is dead. I'd sure appreciate it if ye'd say a public mass fer 'im."

"Sorry, Patrick," said the priest, "we don't say mass fer dogs 'n the like. But you go on down there to the Protestant church. With their progressive thinking, who knows what they'll do!"

Well, Father, I wouldn't want to offend them. Do ya think a donation of a-hundred-thousand pounds would be fitting fer such a service?" Patrick asked.

"Now, Patrick, why didn't ye tell me that there little dog was Catholic in the first place?!"


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