Friday, August 20, 2010 :: Your Weekly Jokes for - Friday, August 20th, 2010

Joke Master! Good Morning!
You are being blessed with the gift of laughter! Here are your 5 random jokes from for this week!:

(Category: Professional Jokes)
A lawyer who works in Texas receives news of an out of town emergency which requires him to fly out of the state for a short period of time. He doesn't even have time to pack, so he calls home to tell his wife he is going. The maid answers the phone but is hesitant to put his wife on the phone. After quite a bit of cajoling, she admits that his wife is upstairs in bed with the mailman! Now the man is furious, and would rush right home, but of course there is this emergency to take care of, so he tells the maid to go get the gun from his desk drawer, and kill both his wife and the mailman. She protests, but he explains that under Texas law it is legal to kill your adulterous wife and her lover. Using his silver tongue, he finally convinces her to do it. She puts down the phone, and the lawyer can hear the sound of two gun shots, the screams, some loud bumps, and, finally, some splashes. The maid comes back on the phone.

The lawyer asks ``did you kill them?''.

``Yes'', she replies.

``What did you do with the bodies?''

``I threw them in the pool.''

... pause ...

``Pool? ... Say, is this 555-8234?''

(Category: Funny Quotes)
"We have a firm commitment to NATO, we are a part of NATO. We have a firm commitment to Europe. We are a part of Europe."
- J. Danforth Quayle, former U.S. Vice-President

(Category: Miscellaneous)
Our staff has completed the 18 months of work on time and on budget. We have gone through every line of code in every program in every system. We have analyzed all databases, all data files, including backups and historic archives, and modified all data to reflect the change. We are proud to report that we have completed the "Y-to-K" date change mission, and have now implemented all changes to all programs and all data to reflect your new standards:
Januark, Februark, March, April, Mak, June, Julk, August, September, October, November, December
As well as:
Sundak, Mondak, Tuesdak, Wednesdak, Thursdak, Fridak, Saturdak
I trust that this is satisfactory, because to be honest, none of this Y to K problem has made any sense to me. But I understand it is a globalproblem, and our team is glad to help in any way possible. And what does the year 2000 have to do with it? Speaking of which, what do you think We ought to do next year when the two digit year rolls over from 99 to 00? We'll await your direction.

(Category: Miscellaneous)
Q. How do you keep the neighborhood kids off your front lawn? A. You molest them!.

(Category: Professional Jokes)
A man walked up to a school and said "can you teach me to reed and write"
The administrator said, "Yes we can, just fill out this form


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-The Joke Master

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