Joke-Master.com :: Your Daily Jokes for - Saturday, June 27th, 2009

Good Morning GlobalEducation100@gmail.com! You are being blessed with the gift of laughter! Here are your 5 random jokes from Joke-Master.com for today!:

	#1 (Category: Girls vs. Boys) Entry in young womans diary: Monday: Went out with John tonight. We were in his car and he tried to get too friendly. I got out of the car and walked away. My legs are still my best friends. Tuesday: Went out with Peter tonight. We were in his car and he tried to get too friendly also. I got out of the car and walked away. My legs are still my best friends. Wednesday: Went out with Jock tonight. I like Jock. We were in his car and he tried to get too friendly. I didn't get out and walk away. Even the best of friends must part! #2 (Category: Miscellaneous) A man walks into a bar with three little ducks and sits each of them on a stool, he looks up at the bartender and says, #3 (Category: Miscellaneous) On a golf tour in Ireland, Tiger Woods drives his BMW into a petrol station in a remote part of the Irish countryside. The pump attendant, obviously knows nothing about golf, greets him in a typical Irish manner completely unaware of who the golfing pro is. "Top of the mornin' to yer, sir" says the attendant. Tiger nods a quick "hello" and bends forward to pick up the nozzle. As he does so, two tees fall out of his shirt pocket onto the ground. "What are those?, asks the attendant. "They're called tees" replies Tiger. "Well, what on the god's earth are dey for?" inquires the Irishman. "They're for resting my balls on when I'm driving", says Tiger. "Fookin Jaysus", says the Irishman, "BMW thinks of everything!" #4 (Category: Dirty Jokes) So, this guy keeps going to several doctors because they all think that he looks terrible. "You look horrible," they all say. "But I feel great!" he always replies. They continue with tests and more tests. "Doctor, I feel wonderful," he protests. "But you look bad," they all rebutted. Finally one discovered, "Looks bad but feels great. He must be a vulva!" #5 (Category: Miscellaneous) A pastor was assigned to a new church. He wanted to find out how much the congregation knew, so he decided to ask a simple question. He asked the members what they knew about Easter. The first guy comes up and says, "Isn't that the holiday when everyone comes over and you have this big turkey?" "Uh, no," the pastor says, "That's Thanksgiving." Second guy says, "Isn't that the holiday where we get that big tree and..." "Uh, no. That would be Christmas. Hence Christmas Tree." "Oh. Sorry." Finally a young woman comes up and says, "Isn't that the holiday when they put Jesus on a cross?" "Yes. Do you know anything else?" "Yes, He died, right?" "Yes. Anything else?" "They took him down, and they put him in a cave, right?" "Yes, then?" "And they rolled a stone in front of it?" "Yes. That's exactly right. Do you know anything else?" "Yeah. He woke up and, oh, now I remember, he rolled the stone away, and then he got out, saw his shadow, and went back inside for 6 more weeks."

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