Joke-Master.com :: Your Daily Jokes for - Tuesday, June 2nd, 2009

Good Morning GlobalEducation100@gmail.com! You are being blessed with the gift of laughter! Here are your 5 random jokes from Joke-Master.com for today!:

	#1 (Category: Religious Jokes) Three nuns were sitting on a park bench one day. A flasher walked up and showed them his stuff. The first nun had a stroke. The second nun had a stroke. The third nun's arm was too short. #2 (Category: Nasty/Tasteless Jokes) What's red and hangs off the back of a train? A misscarriage. #3 (Category: Blonde Jokes) Why do blondes wear shoulder pads? To keep from bruising their ears. #4 (Category: Miscellaneous) If government is going to put health warning labels on beer, wine and liquor, let's at least have a little truthfulness about the matter! WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may cause you to wake up with breath that could knock a buzzard off a shit truck at 100 yards. WARNING: Consumption of alcohol is a major factor in dancing like an idiot. WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell the same boring story over and over again until your friends want to smash your head in. WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell the boss what you REALLY THINK while photocopying your butt at the office Christmas party. WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may leave you wondering what the hell ever happened to your pants (panties) anyway. WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may cause you to roll over in the morning and see something really scary (whose species and/or name you can't remember). WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may create the illusion that you are tougher, handsomer, and smarter than some really, really huge biker guy named "Big Al". #5 (Category: Miscellaneous) Even snakes are afraid of snakes. I can't stop thinking like this. This isn't all true. You know how it is when you're walking up the stairs, and you get to the top, and you think there's one more step? I'm like that all the time. I put hardwood floors on top of wall-to-wall carpet. Tinsel is really snakes' mirrors. Two babies were born on the same day at the same hospital. They lay there and looked at each other. Their families came and took them away. Eighty years later, by a bizarre coincidence, they lay in the same hospital, on their deathbeds, next to each other. One of them looked at the other and said, "So. What did you think?" My grandfather gave me a watch. It doesn't have any hands or numbers. He says it's very accurate. I asked him what time it was. You can guess what he told me.

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