Joke-Master.com :: Your Daily Jokes for - Monday, June 15th, 2009

Good Morning GlobalEducation100@gmail.com! You are being blessed with the gift of laughter! Here are your 5 random jokes from Joke-Master.com for today!:

	#1 (Category: Miscellaneous) Two vampire bats wake up in the middle of the night, thirsty for blood. One says, "Let's fly out of the cave and get some blood." "We're new here," says the second one. "It's dark out, and we don't know where to look. We'd better wait until the other bats go with us." The first bat replies, "Who needs them? I can find some blood somewhere." He flies out of the cave. When he returns, he is covered with blood. The second bat says excitedly, "Where did you get the blood?" The first bat takes his buddy to the mouth of the cave. Pointing into the night, he asks, "See that black building over there?" "Yes," the other bat answers. "Well," says the first bat, "I didn't." #2 (Category: Miscellaneous) One bright, beautiful Sunday morning, everyone in tiny Jonestown wakes up early and goes to their local church. Before the service starts, the townspeople sit in their pews and talk about their lives and their families. Suddenly, at the altar, Satan appears!! Everyone starts screaming and running for the front entrance, trampling each other in their determined efforts to get away from Evil Incarnate. Soon, everyone is evacuated from the church except for one man, who sit calmly in his pew, seemingly oblivious to the fact that God's ultimate enemy is in his presence. This confuses Satan a bit. Satan walks up to the man and says, "Hey, don't you know who I am?" The man says, "Yep, sure do." Satan says, "Well, aren't you afraid of me?" The man says, "Nope, sure ain't." Satan, perturbed, says, "And why aren't you afraid of me?" The man says, "Well, I've been married to your sister for 25 years." #3 (Category: Miscellaneous) A guy walks into the psychiatrist wearing only gladwrap for shorts. The shrink says, "Well, I can clearly see you're nuts." #4 (Category: Miscellaneous) The Baltimore Police Department, famous for it's superior K-9 unit, was somewhat taken back by a recent incident. Returning home from work, a woman had been shocked to find her house ransacked and burglarized. She telephoned the police at once and reported the crime. The police dispatcher broadcasted the call on the channels, and a K-9 unit patrolling nearby was the first on the scene. As the K-9 officer approached the house with his dog on a leash, the woman ran out on the porch, clapped a hand to her head and moaned, "I come home from work to find all my possessions stolen, I call the police for help, and what do they do? They send a BLIND policeman!" #5 (Category: Miscellaneous) The other day when I was walking through the woods, I saw a rabbit standing in front of a candle making shadows of people on a tree. I had a dream that all the victims of The Pill came back... Boy, were they mad! The Stones, I love the Stones. I watch them whenever I can. Fred, Barney... I like to fill my tub up with water, then turn the shower on and act like I'm in a submarine that's been hit. It doesn't matter what temperature the room is, it's always room temperature. I have two very rare photographs. One is a picture of Houdini locking his keys in his car. The other is a rare photograph of Norman Rockwell beating up a child. I went to the eye doctor and found out I needed glasses for reading. So, I got some flip-up contact lenses. Winny would spend all of his time practicing limbo. He got pretty good. He could go under a rug. I filled out an application that said, "In Case Of Emergency Notify". I wrote "Doctor"... What's my mother going to do?

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