Joke-Master.com :: Your Daily Jokes for - Friday, February 12th, 2010

Good Morning GlobalEducation100@gmail.com! You are being blessed with the gift of laughter! Here are your 5 random jokes from Joke-Master.com for today!:

	#1 (Category: One Liners) Q: What kind of a car does a crazy man drive? A: A LOCOmotive. #2 (Category: Entertainment Jokes) Bill, Jim, and Scott were at a convention together and were sharing a large suite on the top of a 75-story skyscraper. After a long day of meetings they were shocked to hear that the elevators in their hotel were broken and they would have to climb 75 flights of stairs to get to their room. Bill said to Jim and Scott, let's break the monotony of this unpleasant task by concentrating on something interesting. I'll tell jokes for 25 flights, and Jim can sing songs for 25 flights, and Scott can tell sad stories the rest of the way. At the 26th floor Bill stopped telling jokes and Jim began to sing. At the 51st floor Jim stopped singing and Scott began to tell sad stories. "I will tell my saddest story first," he said. "I left the room key in the car!" #3 (Category: Miscellaneous) A witch joke Why do witches ride on broomsticks? Because it's quicker than walking! A witch joke What are baby witches called? Halloweenies! A witch joke What do little witches do after school? Their gnomework! A witch joke What do witches say when they overtake each other? Broom, broom, broom! A witch joke What is the difference between a deer running away and a small witch? One's a hunted stag and the other is a stunted hag! A witch joke Why do witches get good bargains? Because they like to haggle! A witch joke Why did the witch consult an astrologer? She wanted to know her horror-scope! #4 (Category: Miscellaneous) Q: How many school teachers does it take to change a lightbulb ? A: One if at home, but on school time, four. Q: How many school teachers does it take to change a lightbulb ? A: On the space shuttle, 1,000,001. One to screw it in and a million to pick up the pieces. Q: How many Ph.D thesis supervisors (advisors) does it take to change a lightbulb? A: Only one; but every time they see a lightbulb they have an irresistible urge to change it! Q: How many professors does it take to change a light bulb? A: Just one, but once we get tenure, we don't change anymore. Q: How many professors does it take to change a light bulb? A: Only one, but they get three tech. reports out of it. Q: How many law professors does it take to change a lightbulb ? A: You need 250 just to lobby for the research grant. Q: How many Stanford researchers does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A: Three. One to hold the ladder, one to turn the bulb, and one to bill the government for the house. Q: How many Stanford professors does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: One to write a paper claiming that light is a pig whitey invention, one to organize a Darkness Studies program, and one hundred to protest the Diablo Canyon Nuclear Generating Station. #5 (Category: Dirty Jokes) Love your neighbor, but don't get caught.

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