Joke-Master.com :: Your Daily Jokes for - Sunday, January 31st, 2010

Good Morning GlobalEducation100@gmail.com! You are being blessed with the gift of laughter! Here are your 5 random jokes from Joke-Master.com for today!:

	#1 (Category: Miscellaneous) A Kentucky teacher was quizzing her students. "Johnny, who signed the Declaration of Independence?" He said, "Damn if I know." She was a little put out by his swearing, so she told him to go home and to bring his father with him when he came back. Next day, the father came with his son, sat in the back of the room to observe. She started back in on her quiz and finally got back to the boy. "Now, Johnny, I'll ask you again. Who signed the Declaration of Independence?" "Well, hell, teacher," Johnny said, "I told you I didn't know." The father jumped up in the back, pointed a stern finger at his son, and said, "Johnny, if you signed that damn thing, hell, you damn well better admit it!" Sent by Kelly #2 (Category: Funny Quotes) What's all this I hear about 'Endangered Feces'? What? That's 'Endangered Species'? Never mind. - Emily Latella #3 (Category: Girls vs. Boys) When Jake Parsons died and went to heaven he saw a guy at the gate who said, "Jake Parsons...let's see...oh, yes. You go down that hall and into the third door on your right." So Jake went past the first door and looked in. Inside was Atilla the Hun standing alone in a dark room. Suddenly a spotlight hit the opposite wall and a door opened and out stepped the most disgusting, ugly, vile, wart-covered woman... A voice boomed out: "Atilla the Hun, you have been very evil! Your punishment is to spend eternity with this hag!!!" Jake walked on further and looked into the second room. Adolph Hitler was in there, the room was dark, and a spotlight hit the opposite wall and this even more disgusting old hag walked into the room. A voice boomed out: "Adolf Hitler, you have been very evil! Your punishment is to spend eternity with this hag!!!" So Jake finally came to his door, opened it and entered a dark room. Suddenly a spotlight hit the opposite wall, and out stepped Michelle Pfeiffer...! Jake was delighted. Just then a voice boomed out: "Michelle Pfeiffer, you have been very evil...!" #4 (Category: Animal Jokes) Why did the turtle cross the road? #5 (Category: Miscellaneous) Prove that the crocodile is longer than it is wide. Lemma 1. The crocodile is longer than it is green: Let's look at the crocodile. It is long on the top and on the bottom, but it is green only on the top. Therefore, the crocodile is longer than it is green. Lemma 2. The crocodile is greener than it is wide: Let's look at the crocodile. It is green along its length and width, but it is wide only along its width. Therefore, the crocodile is greener than it is wide. From Lemma 1 and Lemma 2 we conclude that the crocodile is longer than it is wide.

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